Keep away from my chicken

Some have commented my last post may have been a lil harsh , heres what my mate Mick reckons .........

Umina's Chook Nazi

I was hoping to leave this year on a light note , but after tonite my faith in the goodness of man has been tested once again.
I'm a single guy and have been rushing about all day doing my christmas shopping , I'm buggered and can't be arsed cooking tonite so I thought I'd pop into the Charcoal Chicken at Umina to pick up half a chicken and a loaf of fresh bread to make some chicken sangas for dinner , something light and easy.
At the shop there are 7 full chickens on the cutting tray waiting to be purchased , I ask for a half and the young guy goes " Um err " and whispers to an older employee hiding in the back of the shop... " No you can't have half a chicken , we don't want to cut one up "
Well fuck me dead Mrs Chook fucken nazi ! , is that the thanks I get for years of loyal patronage of your shop ?
How dare you put a pissy couple of dollars profit in front of the needs of a customer ?
I never even complained when you cunts sold me a dried out rubber chicken carcass from under the counter one night , but you have got me riled now .........
.

Xmas 2010

Some sort of bad accident on the Rip Bridge on Thursday , from what I heard a car went under a truck , this big chopper hovered over my house before landing at Ettalong Oval to pick up the unfortunate victim



The crazies are out this time of year , read on lol

Due to many emails landing in my box asking what has happened to Spike , we will have to list you M.I.A , search party has been dispatched

Fan Mail No.1

I have recieved in the last 24 hours 2 requests to write a book , if this keeps up I may consider !
This is one of the best emails I have ever had and had to share it wif yas , unedited , scuse caps.

STEVE, MAAAATE, YER GOTTA WRITE A BOOK! I HAVE SAT ON ME ARSE FOR 8 YRS WONDERING ABOUT THE WOY, GOSFORD, AND SURROUNDING AREAS. I SAT ON ME ARSE ON THE TRAIN AND WONDERED ABOUT THE CAVES UP THERE, AND THEIR HISTORY. I WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT THE ABORIGINAL HISTORY AROUND HERE, KNOWING WE MUST HAVE BUMPED THEM OFF_ SOMEHOW. SINCE I AM NO CHICKEN ANYMORE, AND THE THOUGHT OF SNAKES n SPIDERS OUT THERE IN BUSHLAND SCARES THE BE JESUS OUTTA ME, I JUST SAT ON ME ARSE AND WONDERED. FUCKED IF I KNOW HOW I FELL ACROSS YER PAGES, BUT I WANNA KNOW MORE. I WOULD BUY YER BOOK FOR SURE JUST TO BE ABLE TO SIT SOME MORE :) PLEASE CONSIDER.

LARD ARSE
MARREE

Thanks Maree or Lardy ?
Comments like yours are the only worthy payment for my efforts , I'll send you a shitload of links so you can begin the journey ....